8 Steps

Today John counted 8 steps all by himself. He still takes convincing to do it instead of crawling, but he's slowing getting this stepping thing down. Making messes he does not need encouragement towards. Rolls of toilet paper are no match for him, as is magazines and garbage pails. Clean and dirty dishes are thrown around at will, and he makes no effort to conceal his displeasure if any of his wishes are not granted...immediately. I don't remember back arches, howling and high pitched screaming being the norm back in the day, but Cooper is quick to remind me of who is in charge these days. The other day I saw him scrunch up his face, throw his head back with a howl, then launch himself onto Tommy, biting down with all his might. Of course, Tommy had been pushing him away from a desired toy and barking at him, but....
Cooper really wants to be in on all the action. When any door opens he is on it like lightning. When one of us leaves the room, he knows about it. When the fridge opens, he is hustling over to get himself inside, quick to check out and rearrange. When the door upstairs squeaks open or closed, he turns his head and waits. There is very little hiding done these days. He loves to be outside, climbing on the toys and playing in the sand. Hopefully he'll walk soon, which will make it a lot easier to keep him dry and clean, instead of mucked up and foul whenever he goes out.

Re-everything these days. Re-got (forgot), re-struction (construction)
Gool (School)

The other day he was corrected on form in gymnastics. He melted down with it, and with deep and intense sobs, told me he would not go back out on the floor and wanted to go home. I finally convinced him to give it one more shot, but when he doesn't get it right, he does not want to do it. He has to be right and when I try to correct him on something, however minor, he either quickly tries to deflect it onto something else, change the subject or distract me, or he melts down into tears.

"ma-ma, ma-ma"

Cooper has taken to calling out ma-ma all the time. John saw Cooper crawl over to Thomas while he was playing Legos on the deck of his boat bed. Cooper was jabbering, "Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma" over and over, pulling on his pants and legs. Thomas leans over and calls, "I'm not your Ma-ma. Stop bugging me!"

Sunshine, finally!

Coopie, don't take my Doritos!

Today we went down to Boulevard Park to enjoy the sunshine, boardwalk, hot cocoa and Tommy's beach catapult. Cooper tried out his new backpack Sherpani, and seemed to like it just fine. I think he was quite entertaining on the ride back, drawing looks here and there as he slept.

Walking (Stepping) Begins! 9 1/2 months

Today John and I both were able to witness Cooper first take three or four steps on his own, then again later in the day he pulled two off before dropping down to his steady and reliable crawl position. He also finds great delight in hustling off at high speed crawling to get to the toilet before we can catch him, and belly laughs when he gets his hands on the rim before we haul his bum out of there. He enjoys pulling all the laundry out of the dryer and scattering it, as well as the utensils in the dishwasher. Same with items in the fridge that he can handle and throw about. Now he actually crawls into the dishwasher to get into things, and whines and calls for us when he can't figure out how to get down. He loves to play chase with Tommy, loves to be with him, wrestle and play. In the morning, his face lights up when Tommy drags himself out of bed, and where Tommy is, so must Cooper. He is no dummy. He knows when we're sneaking upstairs or outside without him. He knows when the bath water starts up and screams a high pitched yell when he's not getting his way about any of this. Today he launched himself onto the coffee grinder that I had running on the floor in Tommy's room (it's too loud in the mornings when someone is sleeping so we do it in another room). Both boys love to get their hands on this machine, and Cooper was fully draped over it while it ground the coffee beans up. Coop enjoys eating big boy food these days, happily munching on whatever the rest of us are having, including meats and treats. It's so great to almost be out of the baby food stage. I'm thankful it's short lived and Cooper didn't really care for it to begin with.

This is such an amazing photo to us, not in that it's unusual in any way, but that our baby looks so big and grown up. Naked and streaking through the house he still looks all little and cuddly. Here he looks so much like a boy. Thomas has finally decided that he wants to go poo on his potty, but that has brought with it a lot of cleaning on our end. As much as I longed for this day, it's much more of a learning process (and hygiene issue) than I planned on. He loves his brother-and he can't stand him as well. "Coopie, get out of here!" he'll yell, and slam the door to his room. "Coopie, Coopie", he'll say, as he's loving on him and wrestling with him on the bed. "I don't want you in here!" he'll yell, stomping his feet. Tonight he said to me, "Mama, will you watch Cooper and Daddy can take me up to Isaac's?" "You stay home. Just me and Daddy." "Just me and Daddy, got it?" For the last three nights he's taken to sleeping in his boat bed again, giving us a much needed break from three of us rotating between our bed and the mattress on the floor. Throw Cooper into the mix and it's still musical beds all throughout the night. Cooper tends to take the longest naps when he's put down on the floor bed. Go figure. I've suspected for a bit now that Cooper coming into the picture gave him some separation anxiety and then he took to being scared of the dark. Maybe now we've turned a corner.
Tommy is really enjoying preschool and comes home singing new songs and talking about what he's picking up. However, when asked how his day is, his usual response is "good" but nothing much more. He's really interested in reading now and wants to write letters, although he's still trying to figure out if he's left handed or right handed, which is making writing challenging. He's also really big into pretend, and likes to act out the things that he's doing or what he's seen. He's big into watching BunnyTown, so he wants to play BunnyTown in our room and assigns himself a bunny and us one as well. I came home from work to find crackers and crumbs all over the floor and in the floor bed. When I asked John about it, he told me that crackers are allowed in the beds of BunnyTown. I think that deserves the look of annoyance that was on my face. The other day he started gym again and our room transformed into a gym, with climbing boxes to jump from, added blankets and new positions to try and jumps to perform. He makes waterfalls in the sink, then strips naked to climb on in. He makes himself busy cooking (flour all over) and washing (soap and toothepaste cleaning the mirrors). The other day he jumped in the lake and began the ritual of outdoor tub time (37 degrees outside). A bit on the early side, but a great taste of summer days to come. He wants me to cuddle up with him to go to sleep, both at night and sometimes for nap, telling me stories big storms and tornadoes, and still enjoys the taste of a good cup of creamer with our coffee in the morning. Our runs to Starbucks are a favorite trip, as is Fi-llama burger, Thai food and Burger Me. He's still my great grocery trip buddy and I love our time together when we get to go. I'm still conflicted on sharing my time, though, and I pray that he never feels like I don't have enough time for him. Cooper is very demanding in ways, and I have to juggle the needs of both, and I just hope that I can still find the time to make "our" time special with him.
"Dad, you're annoying me," he says when John's humming a song on the way to the car. He has to be the one to grind the coffee and blend anything that needs to be blended. "Good job, Daddy!"
At bedtime, "Thomas, you're my treasure, baby." "But Mama, I'm not treasure." "But you're my treasure, the best kind of treasure." "But I'm not gold, I'm not golden." Thomas, if a pirate came in here right now and offered me all the treasure in the world, big, big piles of it, I still wouldn't give you up. You're the best kind of treasure ever and you'll always be my treasure." He didn't say anything after that, just snuggled closer and looped his arm around me tighter.

Opening day of Bucket Season

Cooper gets his first taste of the hot water bucket

Naked Nudie (aka "Fun Buns")

Birds of a Feather...

Losing Control 5 Minutes Home

I walked through the doors this afternoon and enjoyed a renewing sense of calm...until the nanny walked out the door and Lil walked up the stairs. Then it was ON...or so Thomas had determined.

While I fed Cooper a snack, I could hear him resuming an activity in the bathroom. A mom knows not to trust the quiet, but I guess I kinda got lost in the feel good moment of peace and quiet. I checked in on him, only to find him "washing" the mirror with soap and a comb and toothpaste. So proud of himself. No harm, really.
Three more bites of cheese from Cooper and Tommy was yelling for me. I found him sitting buck naked in the sink full of bubbles, toothpaste and dental floss, water slopping all over the floor.
I pulled Cooper out of snack time, put him into his walker and pulled Tommy out of the sink and into the shower. Turned my back, stepped out to find towels, and heard laughing from BOTH Cooper and Thomas. Ducked quickly back in, only to find Cooper covered in water, dripping actually, water all over the floor and toilet paper tossed all around in various stages of lumps, clumps and disintegration. "Thomas, why is water all over Coop?" I asked, a bit shocked. "Did you throw water at your brother?"
"No, mom," he replied. "I was washing his hair."
Cooper went back into his high chair so I could pull Thomas out of the shower. Dried him off, went to get clothes. Laughter again. Came down the hall to find Tommy "helping" Cooper eat his toast and jam, more jam and bread smeared on his face and body than anywhere near his mouth. Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Tub time for both! I need to go back to work, and I only just walked through the door!

Thomas' first blog entry

"Welcome to Tommy's Penguin World! I like Penguins!"--Thomas

Health and Patience

I realized that I wasn't quite myself when a friend asked me how I was doing, and when I asked why, she told me that I wasn't my usual jolly, happy self lately. It was sobering to know that I'd begun to let the sleepless nights and endless worry over continued sickness get to me in ways that my friends were also keying into. It has not been easy, these months since August. It was that month that Cooper became sick, and it seems that there have been only a few days since that I would say he's healthy. It has been challenging to keep up our sense of humor and our optimism in the midst of it all, but as we continue on, I know that what we have endured will only make it that more sweet when both boys are healthy and the worries move on to other areas of our lives.

Cooper

Shortly before Christmas I finally had enough of some nagging worries and took the little guy in. Turns out that despite continued cold and flu symptoms, they'd done little to stem his growth, and he was putting on weight as he should. The "bruise" that was conjuring up all sorts of nightmares in my mind, with it's refusal to go away, fade or shrink, turns out to be a Mongolian birthmark. Leave it to Cooper to have a birthmark that only something like 7% of Caucasian children have. The dark coloring in his belly button is his umbilical cord scab that is being stubborn about drying up normally. Fortunately, despite having Bruce upstairs for his entire life, I'd been so caught up with these issues and his cough that I neglected to think "ears". With an ear infection prescription in hand, I could only shake my head and thank God that I'd been giving Coop Tylenol for the top two teeth that are ballooning out but refusing to relieve the incessant pain and pressure.
Now, in January, he's on his second round of stronger antibiotics for yet another ear infection. After three and a half years without an ear issue with Thomas, I feel like we're in uncharted territory right now. I'm just so thankful that Bruce can keep a watchful eye on his ears and overall health. It doesn't stop my chaotic runs to Madrona after hours clinic to get it all taken care of, but it's great to have his consult and his wealth of experience with just this sort of thing.

Tommy's Evening with the Lawrences

Tonight I had to rush off to take Cooper to the after hours clinic. I didn't want to take Thomas along, knowing all the germs that we'd be walking into, so I quickly called up Jenny to see if I could drop him off. It made sense, as Tommy and Isaac are all about being buddies right now, but I've yet to just drop him off like this, although Jenny has watched him before when he was little. A few tears fell until I pointed out all the fun things he could do with Isaac, and then he was practically begging to get out the door.
"You'll be right back, Mom?" he asked. "Yes, as soon as I get back from the doctors."
"You'll be really, really, really quick?"
"Yes, I'll be back real soon to pick you up, just like preschool."
Jenny met us out on the walk and he barely gave me a second glance as he bound up their steps.
My little man. I couldn't believe it as I drove away. It was so strange to just drive away, to leave him to play with his friends. Friends? He would rather be with his friend than drive to the doctor's with mom? He was fine and happy? He was safe without me? All the things he could do without me? Would he be kind? Would he be polite? Would he be too demanding? What about the potty? Would he miss me and cry? Would Jenny never want to watch him again? Was I wrong to feel some sense of relief that it was just Cooper and I heading to the doctor? That I only had to worry about one son while on this outing?
One more step. So many thoughts...and to think...someday he'll walk out my door and go away, get married. What will I do then?