Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Saying Goodbye to the Soares Family

There are many, many blessings associated with living next door to a Firs home. However, with the leaving of a second wonderful family, we are well versed on saying goodbye to good friends. We didn't spend a lot of time socializing with each other formally, but our children spent nearly every day available together, playing, swimming, riding bikes and scooters, racing the go cart around the yard, soaking in hot buckets, dancing, building bamboo forts, creating lego whatnots, cuddling on the couch with a show or video game....the list is long. We tried to forget that time was marching on, to forget about goodbyes. Every time I would bring it up to Tommy, trying to soften the blow so to speak, he really didn't want to speak of it much. A few days before we were trying desperately to cling to every moment together with Tiago, Tommy everyday go-to guy. Driving home from work the day before they were to leave, I was actually fighting tears, although I wasn't really sure why. I couldn't figure out if I was more sad for the loss of a little boy running around the house, or sad for all that Tommy was going to miss with Tiago leaving. When Julia Allen left a year ago, it was difficult, but nothing like this. Getting older brings on a deepening understanding of permanency, of friendship. Tommy "gets" this more than he ever did back then. He was losing a great, great little buddy. A friend that understood him. They shared their second to last night with each other, as I couldn't stand to see it end. I asked Susan if she would let Tiago stay with us for the night. Tommy's first sleepover. It went well. Fabulous. Couldn't have been better. They stayed up late of course. I would have let them stay up all night just to allow them more minutes together. It wasn't enough, though. By morning, it was sweetness to peek in on them curled up so peaceful. Tommy asked as I made them chocolate chip cookie for breakfast, "Mom, will I see Tiago again today? Will he stay as long as possible?" In the afternoon, Susan stayed as long as she could, and the boys continued to race around the beach, swimming and lounging in the hot buckets as if nothing was about to change. When it was finally time, Tiago was hardly ready, and let his mom know it. He ran, he hid, he refused to leave the property. It was heartbreaking. Tommy watched it all, trying to encourage, but not really knowing how other than to follow my lead and tell Tiago we would always be friends, always love him. Tommy was tearful, but appeared resigned.
Walking back after watching the van drive away, he said, "Mom, when do my new cousins come?"

Thank goodness for the diversion of cousins coming to town.

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