"Just suck it up, Thomas"

Those are the words I said to Thomas several times following his "jammed" finger incident. Seems like trying to catch a flying soccer ball got the best of this guy. Two days later, and several "Just suck it up, Thomas" later, his teacher asked if I thought we should popsicle stick it. Huh? Popsicle sticks? That is what we are resorting to?
No, I decided that I would keep the sticks for cabin building art projects and scheduled him for a real diagnostic exam. I felt bad, apologizing to the nurse who set out appointment. "I know it's just a jam, but..." I said. I apologized to the nurse who took vitals and weighed him. "I figure its a jam, but..." I joked with the doc and the x-ray tech, who assured me it was probably nothing, but it was good to get a look.
"Uh, mom?" You'd better take a look at this," his doctor advised 30 minutes later, beckoning me over to her table. "Uh, huh. We have ourselves a nice little fracture."

Failed. I failed. I failed him. A minor fail in the grand scheme of things, but still a failure on the old "mother's instinct" mumbo-jumbo. How do you apologize to a 7 year old that you've told to "suck it up" and barely gave tylenol to? How do you pick yourself up, wipe the tears that are threatening in the exam room and make it ok in your heart? I don't know that I will trust myself for a while, so that doctor's office punch card that I've joked about? Better sign me up for a pack of them, because if Tommy says "Boo" I will be in there asking for an official assessment!

4 days later and 3 diagnostic changes, we are left with 4 weeks out of every physical activity and a big hard brace to replace the little old splint they thought would keep this boy quiet for a while. Of course, you can't keep him from falling, from bracing, from jumping around the house with just a little old cast. 10 days later on a rescan the verdict was still "broken". Um, how much did you charge me for that rescan x-ray again? Seriously? Maybe they were hoping for the hand of God to come down and wipe away the fracture. Whatever. I don't know. All we do know is that Thomas is wearing his club for 4 weeks and will be playing January indoor soccer, with or without this cast.